A CHRISTMAS JOKE

19 ways to confuse Santa

Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note

 explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.

While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him

 a speeding ticket.

Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the

holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.

While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact

 replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them

 to fly.

Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull

 goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big,

 red Santa suit!

Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof,

holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."

Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus

 called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf

 of bread on his way home.

While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon

 as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have

 missed that last payment, and take off.

Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with

 a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy. :)"

Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few

 drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa."

Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed.

 When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say,

"Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."

Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute

 changes and corrections.

While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney

 with barbed wire.

Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's

 sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And

 he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.

Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include

 a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.

Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa

 to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from

 a distance, he looked like a bear.

Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.

Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's

 in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act

 like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.

Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.

Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then

 say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."

He, he! This is just  a joke, ok? I love Santa!!!

Page created on November, 07, 2002